When I had my entertaining if not irritating encounter with an officious policeman in Flower Road, as described last week, I had already had my fill of what I can only describe as the mastery of the police in wasting the time of the public. In this case, I should note, I did not find cussedness or stupidity on the part of the different individual policemen I had to deal with – and there were dozens – but the system meant that they had to waste both their time and mine.
The exercise began with the decision of the Ministry of Defence to change the system by which permits were issued for the possession and use of firearms. For ages I had been technically the licensee of a weapon which was used by Upali, the former student who looked after my property down at Getamanna. Year after year he had presented me with the paperwork I had to sign for the renewal of the permit, which was done down in Beliatta.
But two years ago the Ministry decided that the license had to be issued in the area the owner of the property lived in, not where the property was and where the firearm would be kept, and used if necessary. This decision was made in the midst of corona restrictions, which is typical I think of the mounting idiocy of the previous Government where dogma totally trumped commonsense.
Nothing could be done about this in 2021, but early in 2022 we decided to start on the exercise, first going to surrender the weapon at the Beliatta Police station. That did not take too much time, and I got a receipt for it, and then back in Colombo I went to the District Secretariat to start on the process of filling forms. I went with Nigel Hatch, who renews his permit every year, and found some extraordinarily nice and helpful girls there, who told me that I had to get a certificate of character first from the Grama Niladhari, and then permission from the police.
The Grama Niladhari was also swift to sign the form as required, and then I went to the Colpetty Police station. Unfortunately this was on the 9th of May.
I gather Police in the Colpetty area contributed to this, but the people I met were immensely helpful. But they said they could not sign before they had asked Beliatta to confirm the gun had been surrendered. The receipt I had was not enough for them. Apart from the decision to change the system, this was the first example of the sheer idiocy of the bureaucratic requirements the police have imposed on themselves.
They sent a message to Beliatta and I asked Upali to expedite a reply, but the Beliatta OIC told him that he saw no reason to send a message since the receipt should suffice. Fortunately when I told this to the Colpetty Police, the helpful youngster there and his immediate boss decided to waive the requirement of a specific message to them from Beliatta, and signed the form. 
But though I now had two of the required signatures, from the Grama Niladhari and the Police in Colpetty where I live, I then had to go to the office in the Fort where approval was finally given. The chap there was not however as sensible as the personnel in Colpetty. He told me that nothing could be done without a police message from Beliatta to Colpetty. The receipt, and the recommendation of the Colpetty Police, meant nothing to him, and he would not let me speak to anyone senior.
So I told Upali we needed a message from Beliatta, and the Beliatta Police reiterated that this was not necessary, and so nothing happened for several months. Finally the Beliatta Police passed the gun on to Hambantota, and the civil officials there sent a formal letter which reached me in October to confirm that the gun was in their possession.
So back I went to the Fort where the Constable who accepted forms was much nicer than the chap who had been there before, but still refused to move. His point now was that the recommendation from Colpetty had been signed but without a seal, and a seal was essential. Besides, it was not the OIC who had signed, and the chap who had signed, whom they knew of, had now been transferred, so he suggested I get another form filled and signed.
But this time I was allowed to see his boss, who told me that if Colpetty put their seal on, he could sign. He also added that it was necessary for the Divisional Secretariat to make its recommendation, though at the Colombo Secretariat they had I thought told me that that came after the police approval, and certainly the Colpetty Police had not asked for it.
At the Divisional Secretariat the nice young ladies – different ones but as nice as before – told me that it would make sense to start the process now for 2023. But since that form was different, and required certification also from Beliatta, they agreed to take this form if the police did their bit, and give me a license for 2023, having fined me for the missing two years before. And then after much delay – caused by the need to take copies of everything in my file – I got the Divisional Secretary’s signature.
But Colpetty proved adamant. The nice youngster who remembered me from May told me that his superior was in hospital – which had been the case in May as well, with his now transferred predecessor – and that the seal could not be placed. That was when I gave up, and I told Upali to start the process for 2023, sending me a form to work with on which the required signatures from that part of the world had been placed, before I embarked on the exercise of getting the several signatures I needed in Colombo, which required visits to five different places.
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