Nanda Mendis : A wonderful sister
“A sister is a gift to the heart, a friend to the spirit, a golden thread to the meaning of life.” This quote wonderfully describes what my eldest sister Nanda meant to me. Born on February 20, 1930, she was a dutiful and respectful daughter who was much loved by my father, Nomis de Silva and my mother Magilin.
Being the eldest with five younger brothers and two younger sisters she was always a loving and caring sister to whom we always looked up to.
I was her youngest sister and being 12 years younger to her, most naturally, I enjoyed a special love where much of her loving attention was showered on me. It developed into an affectionate and strong bond as we grew older.
My Sister Nanda studied at Museus College Colombo, and thereafter married Wijayapala Mendis of Negombo at an early age. He hailed from a political background as well as a similar business setting, as both their fathers’ were bus magnates of the then bus company era.
Having moved to Negombo after marriage she played a most supportive and encouraging role in advancing her husband’s political carrier. Being by his side at all times, I was proud of my sister’s dignified, graceful and elegant disposition being always helpful and obliging and popular among his associates and acquaintances. Her supportive presence by his side as a loving and caring wife undoubtedly helped him ascend the political ladder to responsibly handle key portfolios as a senior minister who positively contributed to the advancement of the country.
She struck a wonderful balance dedicating her love and her time as a dutiful wife who had to play a prominent role in her husband’s public life and as a loving and caring mother who showered love on her children and never failed to be by their side. My sister Nanda and my brother-in-law Wijayapala spent 59 long years of blissful married life living together as an exemplary couple with mutual love, care and devotion.
All who knew them witnessed a rare companionship and love that was only strengthened with time. She was a loving mother of one son and three daughters, namely, Manouri, Davindra, Dilupa and Nadika. I am proud to say that she was a loving and affectionate mother and thereafter a doting grandmother who was there for her children and grandchildren at all times fulfilling all her duties.
In my sister Nanda I always had a friend, having known each other for life, we shared a unique relationship sharing our joys and happiness and holding each other close at times of grief and sorrow. Having guided me as a young girl right up to marriage both our families became very closely knit and she was fond of my three daughters as her own.
Though shattered, she faced the unfortunate and untimely death of her only son Davindra and eased her grief with courage and strength finding solace in the teachings of the Dhamma, being a devout Buddhist from her young days.
Sadly she lost her husband, Wijayapala Mendis, followed by a brief illness at a least expected time. Though my sister was devastated at the loss and the loving companionship of nearly six decades, she once again drew strength from the teachings of the Dhamma to face the future. I am happy that my family was able to be by her side to ease her pain and grief and to shower our love, care and affection at a difficult and painful time, when she needed it most.
With the demise of her husband, together with her daughters she was determined to carry out his last wish of very generously donating their palatial residence in Negombo with its beautiful gardens to the Maha Sangha, bringing back memories of the numerous such charitable deeds they had done together in the past.
She decided to spend her final years with her two elder daughters in Australia and England saddening all of us. One year ago, on April 19, 2016, she passed away peacefully in Manchester, England, leaving only wonderful memories. It is said that there is no better friend than a sister and she was the best sister and friend to me whose memories I will always carry in my heart.
May she attain the supreme bliss of Nibbana!
Chandra Wimalaratna
J.O. YATAWARA : A sportsman and a gentleman par excellence
It is with a deep sense of sorrow and distress that I write this appreciation on the demise of my former boss and dear friend Tissa, who was popularly and affectionately known among his colleagues and friends as ‘Joy’.
I had developed a strong and lasting friendship spanning over 60 years. He was senior to me at S. Thomas’ College, Mount Lavinia, where he excelled in sports in 1950-1951. Having captained the College in hockey and soccer and in addition winning colours in cricket and athletics, he could be regarded as one of the active Thomian greats. This was rare in those days. He was also the Head Prefect of the College in 1951, the year the College celebrated its Centenary. As a sportsman and leader he brought credit to the College and was a role model to other students.
On leaving College, he joined the Colombo Commercial Company, a leading British company at the time, and was sent abroad for training in refrigeration and air conditioning, which was an emerging field of engineering, and Joy would be considered a Sri Lankan pioneer.
On his return to Sri Lanka, he was appointed as an engineer and subsequently took over from a Britisher as Head of the Division, where I had the privilege and good fortune in my early years of having him as my mentor, role model and a friend.
He was well known in the refrigeration and air conditioning industry and made Colombo Commercial Company a leader in this field. The legacy he has left in terms of honesty, integrity, and loyalty are qualities that would endure and a great example today.
After the privatisation of the company, Joy went abroad and was employed in his field in Dubai, Singapore and Malaysia. Joy's name was synonymous with refrigeration and air conditioning and until a few years past, he carried on his profession as a consultant with immense dedication and commitment for the betterment of the industry.
It was indeed my privilege to have been closely associated with him and his family over the years, and our friendship blossomed and lasted throughout.
This brought about a very close relationship between our two families.
There was not a day that we did not converse with each other over the telephone. Joy was fortunate to celebrate his golden wedding anniversary. The family would be proud of him and would cherish his memory as a wonderful family man. He had a charming personality and was a simple man who led a simple life. He was a gentleman for all seasons.
Joy's demise is an irreparable loss to his family and close friends. It is sad that he is no longer with us and I will always cherish his memory. I owe much gratitude to Joy for all the support he has given me during the years and he will always remain a shining memory in my lifetime.
He will be sadly missed and fondly remembered for many years to come and I convey my deepest sympathies to his wife Esme and to the children Chanaka, Ayoma and Ravi, and to their immediate family who have lost a caring and dutiful husband, father, father-in-law, and grandfather who guided them with love and care, and I am sure they would treasure the memories of him with pride and gratitude.
His death has created a void in the lives of his family and friends.
May he rest in peace.
SHANTI WIJESUNDERE
Asoka Weerasinghe : A true disciple
Asoka was a talented educationist, a caring community and social worker a visionary environmentalist, a loving family man and an exemplary Christian. He was called to glory on March 10, 2016 after an illness bravely borne with implicit trust in the Almighty, causing least inconvenience and concerns to the loved ones.
Asoka entered Trinity College Kandy (TCK) in 1948 and was associated with the college till 1991. His father Bertie was on the staff from 1943 to 1976. Therefore their combined contribution to TCK was over half a century.
He and his two brothers Gamini and Sarath went to the same College. The family consisted of parents Bertie and, Eva and their children Gamini, Asoka and Sarath. It is remarkable that all of them served on the staff of TCK at some stage of their lives and it is felt that this is some sort of a record. The family was closely-knit, caring, God-fearing and driven by highest Christian values.
Asoka was born a few months after the Japanese had bombed Colombo. During the war there were no luxuries like toys but only the bare necessities needed for survival. He was critically ill when he was seven years of age but bravely came through it with courage and determination which were a hallmarks of the rest of his life.
Having joined TCK as a student, he very quickly established himself as an all-rounder. He studied science subjects and was the President of Lemuel House Association, its basketball and rugby captain and a prefect.
On leaving college, he was on the staff of S. Thomas’ College, Guruthalawa and was selected to the Government Training College, Maharagama and specialised in science teaching. Here he met his life partner Indrani Vitanage with whom he shared a long and joyous marriage that was an example to all. On the completion of his training he joined TCK after a one year spell at S. Thomas’ College, Mount Lavinia.
After joining TCK he taught biology and chemistry with distinction and there are many students of his who attribute their academic success to the foundations laid by Asoka. Many hold high positions like Dr. Ruwan Ekanayake, former head of the Cardiology Uunit in Colombo. There are many accolades about his teaching talents.
He taught for some time in Oman and was later Principal of Lyceum International School, Nugegoda. He was also a Director of Studies of London Stanfords College and Campaign English and lectured at Horizon International School and American International College. In all these roles Asoka’s educational talents left an indelible mark in the lives of his learners.
He was very keen on maintaining Udawattekelle adjoining TCK and many were the meetings and conferences he had attended. He won the Rolex Gold award for a project report he had prepared on Udawattekelle and Reading University offered him a scholarship in recognition of that high award where he obtained his Masters degree in environmental education. Later he followed a Diploma Course on education at Sussex University.
In many ways Asoka was ahead of his time in bringing the importance of protecting the environment of Sri Lanka for the benefit of the generations to come.
His heart was focused on serving his fellow brothers and sisters of the world. He was passionate about alleviating human suffering. He served as the Director of KNH supervising the homes of Children in the Eastern coast especially after the tsunami. He also served as the National General Secretary of the YMCA and represented Sri Lanka in many international fora. He served as the Associate General Secretary of the National Christian Council. He also associated himself with the Ceylon (former Dutch) Reformed Church and helped in many projects after the tsunami in the South up to time of his demise. In these roles Asoka did not believe that he was merely doing a job but responding to a calling.
He was a loving husband to Indrani and a great provider. He loved his two sons Indika and Chinthaka and it was a joy to see them doing well in life. He welcomed the two daughters-in-law Hishanthi and Iresha. He was so happy to be with the grandchildren Rivindu, Dulanya Chevanya and Chelan. He spent hours dancing and singing with them and relating stories.
Asoka was a true disciple. From his very young days Asoka was very disciplined in regularly reading the Bible, regularly praying and attending church almost every Sunday. Asoka was given many talents by God. He did not selfishly hide these or use them exclusively for his personal benefit. Instead he used these talents to make the world a much better place for many. He showered his talents and love on many people over a long period of selfless service. It has taken many years for these things to happen but only moments to remember them. These moments will be very precious to many in the years to come.
Asoka worked diligently in many of God's vineyards using his talents tirelessly to do His will. He had a passionate love for God and an unwavering faith in the redemptive love of Christ. Therefore it is not at all hard to imagine the Good Lord saying to him, “Well done! Well done my good and faithful servant. Enter the joy of the Lord forever”.
Gamini and Sarath
Dinusha Fernando : She touched the lives of everyone
Our youngest daughter Dinusha was a gift from God on January 13, 1987 to both of us and to her elder sister Hirusha and brother Hirushke. Dinu’s earthly journey was only 10,606 days as she was called back to her eternal home just 100 days back on January 15, 2016 just one night after her 29th birthday.
Her life journey is a story of amazing faith, endurance and love. She had incurable SLE to begin with and later on her kidneys failed and then her main heart valve was damaged. She felt the worst was behind her.
It seems she was wrong. Following the heart surgery, Dinu had a stroke. As if everything Dinu was bearing wasn’t enough, she contacted swine flu and then she contacted pneumonia. The last thing she needed was to find a lump in her breast, but that’s exactly what happened. Throughout Dinu’s earthly journey she knew that God was her rock and only He could heal her of pain. This young, beautiful soldier of God was in so much pain.
The days were very dark for my little Dinu. Every movement she made caused agonizing pain. She couldn’t lie, sit, or stand without pain. It’s enough to make some people curse God. It’s enough to make some take their pain out on those they love through harsh words or actions. Dinu, however, never uttered a cross word to any of us. She only let her love for her family show.
It was as if she knew she would only be here a short time longer and she wanted her family to have no doubt that she loved them. Her love for God was always evident and shone through like a bright light on those dark days.
Just 22 months after Dinu was born, we as a family went through turmoil, however our faith in God was strengthened by the spiritual support of the Methodist church we attended regularly and the divine ministry of Dev Suwa Sevawa, and our three children were divinely uplifted. As children often are, baby Dinu seemed oblivious to the hardship her family was facing. She was a happy and loving baby who touched the hearts of everyone with joy and love. When Dinu walked into a room and smiled, it truly seemed as though the room lit up and was instantly filled with warmth.
Little Dinusha continued to grow and thrive under our watchful care. We were guided along our spiritual pathway by the ever-loving hand of God. Though we appeared to have lost everything, the one thing we could never lose was our undying faith in Jesus.
It was 1991 and it was time for Dinu to join school. We already had two elder children in prestigious schools and the fees were definitely heavy for us at the time. I was determined, and worked every job could find to make sure the youngest little girl, who was bright as a button, was able to join her sister at Colombo Ladies College. Dinu did begin to take a much greater interest in her studies as she grew up.
She became a studious, beautiful young girl, but she still never lost that fun-loving spirit she was born with. She also never lost her kind soul or her faith. These qualities only grew as she did. Dinusha’s hard studies were rewarded in 2006. She completed her Advanced Level exams and received great results and with an A pass for Business Statistics. These results got her a good job in a leading travel company located in Sri Lanka. Her face lit up with happiness when she got that job.
She loved her work and her work mates. On March 31, 2009, Dinu’s trial period at her job was supposed to be completed and she thought she would receive a confirmation letter for long-term employment. Instead, at the end of the business day, she got a much different letter. She received a letter that stated: “Services are no longer required.”
It crushed Dinu, and it was difficult for us to see our baby girl shattered and devastated. Instead of being the family live- wire who was fun loving and friendly, Dinusha became sad and distraught and cried for weeks.
Four months after Dinu survived the blow of losing her job, in July, 2009, Dinu started complaining of pain throughout her joints. In August 2009, Dinusha was diagnosed with incurable SLE…Lupus disease. Although she was incredibly sick, she was also a very brave young girl with a strong will and a mind of her own. She began praying and was able to find her another job which would help support the family and help pay for her medical expenses. Dinusha caught Chamara’s eye while working in this place. He had seen this beautiful girl and just had to talk to her. Many young girls who really wanted to follow their friends and get married may have been less than honest by omitting the facts of her condition.
After all, she was in a period of remission. Dinu, however was totally honest with him. She told him about her Lupus which was in remission at the time. On December 17, 2012, I was watching her as we walked down the aisle of Golden Rose Hotel, reminiscing the first time I saw her walk, but she wasn’t that toddler anymore. She was a grown up woman. As she walked down the aisle holding my arm, she sang the words, “How can I Say Thanks for the Things You have Done.”
Things were looking good for the young couple until May 9, 2014. Dinu returned from work that day complaining of pain in her abdomen and spine. Tragedy struck the family when we learned that both her kidneys had failed. In March 2015, we were told she needed to have a kidney transplant.
It fills a father’s heart with both joy and pain to know that their daughter’s faith in God never failed. The fact that she maintained her faith and always put her trust in God as she had been raised to do, was joy to my heart. Watching her undergoing grueling dialysis every other day with unwavering faith filled my heart with pain. She was my baby girl. When she hurt…I hurt! You’re never supposed to question God. I couldn’t help but wonder, however, why a young girl with her whole life ahead of her who trusted God unconditionally and lived her life to glorify Him to the fullest would have to suffer so. I still don’t know, but it’s part of God’s plan.
I have to trust that, even though seeing the look of pain in my little girl’s eyes is extremely difficult to endure.
Dinu had developed a theme of life. It was, “The circumstances of your life don’t and shouldn’t describe or dictate the quality of your personality.” Dinu didn’t let these new and trying circumstances change any aspect of character or her life. Though she herself was sick and in pain, she still took time to visit if a friend or relative was sick. Though she was in need, she was always there to help others when needed. She always had time to talk to her friends. Dinu’s Bible theme verse was Col 4:2 “Continue earnestly in prayer, being vigilant in it with thanksgiving.”
Dinu knew that only God could strengthen, support, and protect her as well as supply her with all good things in pain and in joy. Because of this, Dinu kept a steady eye on Jesus. She knew that even though she had a lot of other needs in her life at the time, but her one true need…what she needed regardless of anything else she might need…was Jesus. Dinu carried her cross with dignity. Through times of severe suffering, she still found ways to enjoy her life. Though she was a young girl of 28, she was able to show the way for both the young and the old.
Her beautiful life showed the example of how to live and glorify God…how to journey in faith amidst intense suffering to the entire society. Though a parent is supposed to be the teacher, I became the student. I learned a great deal from my daughter of how not to let the circumstances of my life dictate the quality of my life.
By January 9, Dinu felt the Lord had sent her a message calling her home. When Rev Asiri Perera, President/Bishop of Methodist Church, visited Dinu that day, she told him clearly and with perfect sense that she wanted to go to God’s house…she had been called home.
The following morning, Dinu’s family was gathered around her bedside. We were all there: Roshani and I, her husband Chamara, her brother and sister, and her brother/sister-in-law. This was part of the preparation for her journey home to God where she bid “good bye” to all of us. God gave us one last birthday with our loving daughter on January 13, 2016. I couldn’t help but remember that January 13, 1987. On the night of January 14, Dinu was surprised by being able to listen to her favourite artiste, Keerthi Pasquel singing live to her by her bedside.
No one realised, except may be Dinu, that it was her last night on earth. Dinu thanked all her doctors, especially Dr. Surjit Somiah who had looked after her so well. Each one had done everything they knew how to do to help her.
That night Dinu uttered these words to her family gathered around her bedside, “Jesus is coming tomorrow morning…beautiful…I am waiting for a message…I am watching…it—it is beautiful.” Just as she said to us, the Lord came in the early hours of January 15. He reached down to earth and picked the most beautiful rose to take home with Him that morning. My little angel is now a Heavenly angel at the Lord’s side.
Dinu touched the lives and hearts of many souls across the world. Even through pain and suffering she united them in the word of the Lord. I believe she will be looking down eternally on all of her loved ones until the day comes when we too get a calling of our own. Then we will be reunited in the house of the Lord. The spirit of my loving daughter, a brave solder of God, will live on through every act of kindness she ever performed and her thoughtfulness. Her bright loving smile will never dim in the memories of those lives she touched.
Premakumar Fernando
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