The old year is gracefully fading away. We welcome 2023. Are you feeling anxious and contemplating the challenges of the coming year? Well please don’t. Worry and anxiety can’t change anything. 2022 was a turbulent year with a magnitude of issues, globally. We in Sri Lanka have many unsolved issues. We are in the dark, in many realms. Sorting out issues at any level takes time, diligence and patience. Being positive is important as we enter 2023.
It is a habit for people around the world to write New Year resolutions. The most common ones in the diary are going to the gym and staying fit, pursuing academic excellence, buying a new car and the list goes on. Usually by March the resolutions are neglected and by April forgotten. A few focused folk carry on with zeal and manage to claim a level of success, which is good. We must always remember that success without dignity is failure.
In order to achieve any goal we need self-control and determination. Our goals must be realistic to us individually, and never to impress others. If we aim to impress others we will lose focus and open ourselves to their unwarranted criticism. Work silently. Let your hard work show results. Your results will manifest your diligent performance. Self-control is the ability to regulate and alter your responses to avoid undesirable behaviours, increase desirable ones, and achieve goals. In other words it is the ability to delay gratification and resist unwanted behaviours or urges.
A clear mind produces positive thoughts. Practicing mindfulness meditation for a few minutes each day can actually boost willpower by building up gray matter in areas of the brain that regulate emotions and govern decision making. For most people meditation brings images of a hermit seated next to a serene waterfall. You can’t do this in a city. Taking ‘time-off’ daily or weekly (suggested 30 minutes) from life’s busy schedule allows you to reflect on your actions and responses. This does not have to be a ‘religious indulgence’. You don’t have to sit on a mountain top or in the middle of a flowing river. Take time to rejuvenate your mind and spirit. When you do so you are already a winner.
Choose to hang out with people or in environments that will enhance your self-control, creativity and inspire you to feel better. One of my suggestions is to avoid toxic people. If people don’t respect, appreciate, understand and motivate you they really aren’t your friends. Choose to spend time with friends who live healthily and productive lives. Be with friends who support your dreams, in a positive way. Identify and follow a mentor, who has achieved success with dignity. If possible be a mentor- a big brother or sister to a younger person and inspire them. Spend time amidst nature. Go enjoy the bliss of hiking rather than aimless shopping.
We all face temptations. You can stay in the situation and use mental strength to avoid temptation. Remember this strategy is difficult because at this point, dopamine (the motivation and reward chemical) is flowing in your brain, making it very easy to believe that the unhealthy behaviour is not so bad. Best is to avoid venues that tempt you.
Impulse control refers to the ability to manage impulses. People who struggle with impulse control may act first without thinking about the consequences of their actions. Emotional control refers to the ability to regulate emotional responses. Someone who struggles with emotional control may find it hard to manage strong emotions. They will overreact, experience bad moods and are overwhelmed by the intensity of their feelings. Under stress, people become agitated and restless. For all of this learn to relax. Learn to release and share your disturbing feelings with a trusted friend, not one who gossips. Whatever religion you follow, please pray. Prayers have the power to release healing and build hope.
Sri Lankans need to use social media wisely. Don’t just forward every video you get. Identify your friends and colleagues who send you meaningful messages and videos. Politely ignore the others. I have deleted the numbers of those who share nonsense. Avoid social media when you are at work so that it doesn't hurt your productivity. Wherever you work, whatever your profession and rank, do your best. No workplace is perfect, because this ain’t heaven.
Some things for you to write in your new diary are- pursue wisdom (the application of knowledge), build genuine friendships, care for people, listen to others, encourage others, take advice only from those who care for you, update your skills, become a person of faith, take responsibility, be a team player, share your success, accept your failure and improve. Learn to be thankful. Gratitude will open new doors. Cultivate the habit of reading a book. When time permits, take a budget trip to a village, experience rural life.
I conclude with the story of Rosa Parks, from sixty years ago. She was a black American woman travelling on a bus. A white conductor demanded her to get up and give her seat to a white passenger. Rosa Parks remained seated and said no. Act with courage when situations demand. Believe in your convictions, if they are right. We must stand up against racism and discrimination in every form. Our diversity augments the beauty of this island nation. Together let us face 2023. One family, one people, one country.
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