Whereby hangs another cock-tale! | Daily News


 

Cock-tail hour…

Whereby hangs another cock-tale!

Any publication that lacks a light-hearted column would be tantamount to a cocktail party serving only saruwath. I am glad that the Editor of your newspaper has been perspicacious enough to realize that we Sri Lankans have one precious universal trait. That trait is our humor. What your Editor is actually looking for is the type of writing that educates and entertains while allowing the reader some escape from the harsh realities of a stressful world.

Even in the most depressing and uncertain times few offerings are more precious than a sense of humour crafted with an underlying serious message. All the same, the medium and message must strive to enable readers to appreciate it in the proper perspective

Still everybody likes a joke particularly when that joke is on someone else. But to be perfectly honest people must realize that there are no original jokes. The mother-in-law and divorce jokes for instance, are no more jokes. For many they are a nightmarish reality. There are many among us who all too often take themselves extremely seriously. But as some pundit once sagaciously suggested: “Humor is too important to be taken seriously.”

The co-ordinator of this new section called me up with the request that I contribute a column on humour. “Why me, I asked?” She answered without hesitation: “Because you are one writer I know who is skilled at crafting humour.”

“Are you suggesting I am some sort of a literary comedian?” I inquired gruffly. “Not at all,” she responded sweetly adding, “I too am a firm believer in the school of thought that a sense of humour signifies emotional maturity.”

The line sounded somewhat familiar but I seemed a bit slow on the uptake that morning. I complimented her on her intelligent quote elaborating the fact that I agreed totally with her profoundly accurate quip. “It has to be,” she replied continuing with a melodious giggle, “it’s your own quote. That’s what you said when I interviewed you last”.

I then remembered. This was the young journalist who had interviewed me following the publication of my satirical book. I apologised profusely to the young scribe for my lapse of memory. After all, her article about my literary achievements had decidedly been head-swelling. I also recollected that she was the epitome of commitment to her profession while coming across as a considerate listener and completely incapable of malice. Actually she was the very antithesis of a crusty former obese colleague paid dearly for his bitchy comment on my satire book at a cocktail party. Swaggering up to me with a drunken gait and looking very much like a bottomous bull hippopotamus in heat he slurred: “I read your book the ‘Serendib Spirit’. My idea of serendipity is looking in a haystack for a needle and discovering a voluptuous woman reaper.”

He thought it was funny and laughed uproariously at his own asinine joke. No one else did. I do not take kindly to hurtful jibes and was about to dispense the contents of my cocktail glass on the corpulent malefactor with a generous baptism of alcohol. But a woman writer in my little circle was faster on the draw. Her hair-triggered shot from the lip appeared deadly accurate and efficacious to boot.

The lovely lady’s eyes blazed and it could have been my imagination but I could have sworn that at that moment the smell of cordite overpowered the cloudbursts of expensive Chanel in the room as she fired: “At your age one would imagine that you should be taking only an academic interest in sex! Besides, you’re so fat that your ID card must state, picture continued on other side.”

Our appreciative circle exploded in torrents of raucous hilarity as he waddled away in a huff. He moved as fast as his short, stubby legs could carry him while heaving curses like a sperm whale billowing great spouts of water. More importantly he would surely have got the message that women don’t make fools of men because a good many of them are the ‘do-it-yourself’ types. [email protected]


Visit Kapruka.com Sri Lanka's Largest online shop. Over 125,000 unique categories such as Fresh Flowers, Cakes, Food, Jewllery, Childrens Toys and other Sri Lankan e-commerce categories. Low delivery cost to most cities here and free delivery in Colombo.

 

Add new comment