One of the biggest laughs one has in India is of those conferred with honorary doctorates using the same as titlesbefore their names! Since many politicians have barely passed high school and some just about making it past standard four, having such an educational title is something they aspire for, even insisting they be addressed by such title by all and sundry.
“Good morning Doctor sahib!”
“Doctor? Where’s the doctor? Oh yes it’s me!”
The army and the air-force also hand out honorary ranks. Dhoni was honoured as Colonel. It is an honorary title, and one respects it, stitches a new uniform on the title giving day then throwsit away.
But not cricketer Dhoni!
MS Dhoni was honoured last week by the President of India with the Padma Bhushan, one of the higher civilian honours, for his prowess as a wielder of the willow, his wicketkeeping skills and obviously his captaincy, but Dhoni thought otherwise. Instead of being a cricketer that day, he played soldier!
He put on his military attire which the army had provided him, and like a sepoy in a march past swung his arms in warlike fashion, marched to the President, nearly uttered a war cry, saluted him,picked up award and marched away!
And the whole of India stands awed. What a soldier! What a salute! What a show!
Butwithout upsetting the followers of the great man, I ask, did the captain of the Indian cricket team get his award for fighting on the Indian borders? For defending the country?
I’m not sure the President had been warned about Dhoni’s tryst with the uniform and am sure was startled to see aggressive soldier marching straight to him with medals blazing, boots shining. It speaks volumes of the Indian president that he didn’t run for cover. “Didn’t you say I have to give this to Dhoni? Who is this warrior?”
And from all over India peopleholding such honorary titles cheer and say, “Like Dhoni is an officer, we are doctors!”
“Are you sir? What is the Pythagoras theorem?”
“What’s that?”
“But you have a doctorate sir?”
Same journo runs to Dhoni, “How do you feel Colonel?”
“Like I’ve won a war!”
“No sir, about your batting?”
“I feel I can lead my troops to Kargil!”
“Do you think you could hit one of your helicopter strokes again sir?”
“I can conquer China and Russia and all of America!”
“Are you still quick behind the wickets?”
“I wonder when I will be promoted to general and make India a super power!”
“Sir what rank is the one after colonel?”
“What? I think it is captain! Or is that the navy? Hey guys let’s talk about cricket…”
“Yes sir Mr.Dhoni, with all due respect, stick to the bat will you, and leave the guns, the uniform and the fancy salutesto them who lay down their lives for yourcountry..!” [email protected]
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