Social graces are skills used to interact politely in societal situations. They include manners, etiquette - the specific accepted rules within a culture for the application of universal manners - deportment and fashion. These skills were once taught to young women at a finishing school or charm school.
Polished behaviour
The focus of social graces has changed over the last century, recently with an accent on business etiquette and international protocol. Did you know that an impression is made within the first seven seconds of meeting someone? Seven seconds is an extremely small amount of time, so you must rely on your etiquette skills and social graces to make an ace of that first impression.
 Maintaining good cell phone etiquette |
Anyone who knows how to behave in gatherings, functions and get-togethers is known instantly. And they stand out for their polished behaviour by going to any lengths to make others comfortable. This trait is crucial for self development.
Social grace then refers to the general behaviour and attitude of being polite and welcoming to people. Social graces are there to make people in one another’s company feel comfortable and know what behaviour to exhibit without putting others ill at ease.
This means putting other's needs before your own in some cases, such as offering a chair to an elderly person rather than sitting down on it first.
It also means paying attention to your own behaviour to make sure you aren't offending others. Social grace is extremely important when meeting new friends. Relationships can develop at a faster rate if you show courtesy toward someone else. As a friendship strengthens and friends get more comfortable with each other, social graces are relaxed. For example, when you have established a new friendship with someone you will probably make it a point to interrupt them less during conversation.
As time goes on, you will each learn when the other is being rude and when they are just excited or bored. While social grace tends to be loosened a bit for good friends much like you would for family, the principles behind them are still a good idea to remember. You don't need to be formal or stuffy to have social grace, you simply need to make sure your behaviour is not offensive and that you are making other people feel special. That alone will go far in friendship.
So you won't get offended as much when they interrupt you because you'll understand the intent behind it. Social graces include making proper introductions to people. Listening and not interrupting in conversation. Using good table manners. Maintaining good cell phone etiquette. Being careful not to put your foot in your mouth.
Extremely important
Some of the basic rules of society that our parents taught us such as never to interrupt or to await your turn are key components of social grace. While you can pick up books on etiquette, developing social grace often takes time and the ability to pay attention. Rather than focusing on how good a time you are having or if you are able to talk about your latest success story, hold back and watch the others in the room.
Do they seem to frown when you start talking? If they do, it's a good chance you're boring them or you interrupted them. In each new event or environment You are in, pay attention to the goings on around you. Does someone need a chair? Is a person fanning their face and therefore warm? Is there someone sitting in a corner who hasn't joined the conversation? See if you can help in any of these situations.
You can also learn social grace by taking note of what you find rude in others. If you hate it when someone fails to introduce you or takes every cell phone call they get while standing before you, never duplicate such behaviour yourself.
Social grace is extremely important when it comes to friendship. When finding a friend, you want someone sincere who will support you and who you can also have fun with. If a person pays attention to your comfort level and has good manners, you're more apt to get to know them better than someone that makes you feel uncomfortable or embarrassed to be around. Some people are of the view that manners and etiquette are painful formalities that are patronising and conceited and are given too much precedence in modern society. It is not the etiquette, nor the manners, that are snobbish but rather the misuse of them by people that gives the appearance of snobbery.
Showing class
When people use what they think are good manners as a way of separating themselves from others, it is called ‘acting pretentiously.’ It is attempting to impress others by affecting greater importance, knowledge, culture or wealth than the others around them. Such stuck-up behaviour however backfires, as the people acting this way make themselves appear to be snobbish, conceited or self-absorbed. Such ‘toffee-nosed’ individuals look ridiculous to anyone who actually understands that the root basis of manners, is simply to show self-respect, while showing respect for all others around them and the social situation that he or she is in. They are the same people who usually have ‘arrogance’ and ‘class’ confused.
Acting as if one is better than someone else is simply being arrogant. It does not show that one has class. Showing class is treating others with respect, the same way that you would most like to be treated. Would you ever be able to term a person ‘self developed’ if he or she bulldozes their way, dashes women unabashedly and tramples other's feet while trying to reach their seat in a cinema or theatre?
The rules of proper etiquette and protocol have been around for years, but they are far more important in this day and age than ever before. Implementing proper etiquette and protocol skills into everyday life should be habit for everyone - including children. After all, people who display proper etiquette not only feel good about themselves they also make those around them feel important and respected.
Are you up-to-date with these skills? Well, it is never too early, or too late, to start. Possessing social grace means that you can manoeuvre yourself admirably through any social gathering or situation with ease.
Meeting new friends
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