Kim and the Art of Warfare..! | Daily News

Kim and the Art of Warfare..!

Kim Jong Un, the revolutionary leader of North Korea stood in his wrestling gear in the arena facing the rest of the world. He walked up to one of his still living uncles sitting on the edge of the ring and whispered in his rear, “Just watch, I will go across to where Trump sits and make a monkey face at him! Watch, and learn the art of warfare!”

His uncle clapped and gave him a standing ovation as the bespectacled portly Korean walked over to the other side of the ring, as far away as he could get from the American side, then started making ludicrously ridiculous faces at the Americans.

He walked over to his uncle, “How was that?” he asked, “Did you see the American president cringe with fear?”

“You are the greatest!” said his uncle.

“Greater than my father, Kim Jong Il?” asked Kim Jong Un staring at his uncle fixedly, while fingering a small dagger he kept within his wrestling garb.

“Of course, wise leader, you are far greater than your father, or even your grandfather!”

“They would have not done what I am doing!” said the cherubic looking North Korean dictator, making another face at the American president, and again earning the applause of his subjects sitting in the corner of the ring. “I can do more!” said Kim, as he jumped up and down gesticulating wildly at the American side, even doing a summersault and a cartwheel, but safely keeping a distance from the American president while doing his antics.

“I just saw the American president flinch when you did that cartwheel, oh Sun of the Nationl!” said his only living uncle.

“Then I’ll do it again,” said Kim Jong Un, and did another half cartwheel, landing on his soft underbelly, “Ha, ha, ha, that should keep him quiet about nuclear attacks for some time!” he said to his uncle who nodded vigorously.

Kim stopped his exhibitionist acts as he heard a noise that rose in crescendo. It sounded like the moans and groans, the cries and sobs of millions. “What’s that?” he asked, then looked around as the hall was filled with voices, “Bread!” cried a weak Korean voice.

“We are hungry!” wept another.

“No food in our belly!”

“No clothes on our backs!”

“All our money paying to keep your antics going!”

“Shut up!” shouted Kim Jong Un, the undisputed revolutionary leader of North Korea, “Can’t you see how much good has happened with your sacrifices? Look at the American president. Look at how he cows down in front of me. Look at the rest of the world. See how scared they are of us, and you want food?”

Kim made a monkey face then jumped up and down again, gesticulating wildly at the American side, even doing a summersault and a cartwheel, safely keeping a distance from them while doing his antics.

His uncle clapped, his people moaned, the rest of the world went about their business as Kim taught them the art of warfare..!

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