Looking after elders
It is our paramount duty to look after our parents. Special care
should be taken when they are old and become dependents on us. A person
who looks after his parents need not worship god separately. When you
look after them you must see that they are happy and comfortable. They
must not feel that they are burden to you.
I quote below the following steps.
Caring - This is very important. Please pay attention and treat them
equally in every aspects. Wishing them in the morning. Taking them for a
morning walk with you, serving meals which they prefer and also suitable
to them, permitting them to watch TV and radio and to read newspapers
etc. It would be better to tell them when you are leaving the house
which will make them happy.
Participation - Please discuss with them pertaining to important
matters which will make them comfortable and avoid frustration. Eg.
Purchase of new car, new premises, marriage arrangements etc. You should
listen to their opinion when making decisions. If you are not in a
position to accept, please explain to them without over-rolling.
after elders, our duty
Respect - You must ensure that your parents are respected by all.
This is etiquette to be maintained by you. Ensure that your servants,
your children, relations and visitors respect them.
Help - It is natural for them fall sick when they become old. Adopt a
suitable programme - proper meal, adequate exercise, body and mental
rest and regular medical check up. When they fall sick arrange for a
Appreciation - Do not forget to appreciate the good qualities of your
parents in public whilst criticism should be done in private. Comments
like “my mother's cooking is superb, my father's tax advises are always
correct.” “See the appearance even at this age and imagine how they
would have been when they were young.”
Privacy - Please recognize their privacy by allocating a separate
room for them to discuss their problems. They must feel comfortable.
Listening - Please listen when they talk about their problems which
may be health or finance. They must not feel frustrated by your non
Happiness - You should make them happy by recognizing their important
days and needs. Buying a new saree for a festival, celebrating their
birthdays and wedding anniversary day, presenting them with proper
entertainment (cassettes of all songs, films etc.)
Disturbance - Please do not annoy them by way of loud music, dance
and having repairs in your house without notice. What is important here
is that you pay special attention. Kindly see that they are not
disturbed by your activities. It may necessary to have a separate
temporary accommodation before commencing repairs, big activities.
I presume that the younger generation accept my proposal while elders
appreciate the proposal.
S R Balachandran, Council Member,The National Chamber of , Commerce
of Sri Lanka