Goreing their separate ways as empty-nesters

Like them, older couples in the US, well-off economically with new careers, have shown a tendency to embrace the lonesome empty-nesters’ conflict-ridden frame of mind: there were no known hints of any romantic alignments by Al and Tipper reported. It is paradoxical why those deemed to have achieved a lasting legacy in life were still trying to outdo themselves or leave grander impressions for posterity at the expense of a union that had given them their place under the sun.

Gore debacle had opened a hornet’s nest as that countered a slight reduction rate in divorce cases among all age groups, according to a recent survey.

It had shown that over 90 percent of both women and men were desirous of creating a shared destiny with a partner.

Financial individualism

Indeed, the rise of “financial individualism” meant that neither women nor men among most age groups feel compelled to stay in a relationship for purely economic reasons in the 21st Century.

We see the new generation drawn toward equality, and sharing in their partnerships, with a credo of take me on my worth alone than to settle for less. The gene “forsaking all, not until death do us part” has deserted many.

As their lives unfold after marriage, they are likely to seek higher standards of accomplishment when the demands and needs of children fade.

Many of them may search new rationales for staying together as a couple. Al Gore had diverted his attention almost full time since 2000 to environmental advocacy winning the Nobel Prize in the process. Tipper Gore took a different and rewarding path with her skilled professional photography: she published “Picture This: A Visual Diary,” in 1996 which she called “a personal photographic representation of life as wife of the Vice President.”

Their separate paths may have exhausted that bond of joint-achievement they pursued for a long time being in politics. The end was so abrupt and shocking because they had recently bought a new multi-million dollar luxury home in California.

Challenges for older marriages

The surprising news about the break-up brought to surface the new challenges facing 21st Century families. As people strive to live longer and fuller lives, a whole host of improbables comes into the marriage equation.

It is imperative that the quest for fuller lifestyles must entail the fostering of the conditions that will help people create more equal, satisfying and robust relationships.

Late life divorces generally have lesser impacts on children. However the question as to who will look after the separated parents rises. Even if financial hardships were to be mitigated by greater resources at their disposal, the psychological scars are still formidable.

In the US, many older couples face the harsh reality of spending years and years together after their children move out. Studies of widowhood show husbands and wives suffer equally bad once the partnership ends. This might also be the case of older couples divorcing, unlike in mid-life divorces, where husbands often move out of the house and leave the major burden of caring for their young kids to their ex-wives.

In late life divorces, however, the issue is who will care for the divorcing older parent when he or she needs it, and here older women seemed to have a slight advantage. Invariably older divorced dads may find that their children are too busy with their families and hence unable or not so eager to take care of them.

Older divorced mothers in need of care generally may draw upon the closer relationship they often have developed with their now-adult children, especially their daughters, as a result of having been the primary caregiver when they were growing up. The number of men struggling after being widowed or divorced seemed higher. It is no easy matter for both spouses. They need all the luck in the world to survive. Mothers’ and Fathers’ Days are becoming sacrosanct for older couples.

Research on marriage scanty

Studies available are inadequate to assess the exact situation faced by divorced older couples. Research on the nature of broader economic and social consequences of long-term marriages going bust is scanty. The complex range of motivations, emotions and conflicts of those susceptible to separation needs further probing, according to most scientists.

Are older couples less insulated from the adverse effects of broken marriages even with the availability of more legal and financial resources than in the past (or do they survive somehow)? Which groups are affected most? We have no answers. Marriage in the 21st Century may require a greater sense of nourishment.

According to Hollywood jargon ‘love and marriage often carry too much baggage.” Does it?

Al and Tipper have parted quietly with no rancour. They were high school sweethearts and passionately romantic with a stable marriage amidst scandals and sleazy affairs in the political world they inherited for decades. How that went sour is hard to fathom.